I love the fact that I can find miraculous solutions to some of my problems just by typing a phrase into Google and finding that somewhere out there in the blogosphere there is someone who has dealt with my very same problem before and figured it out! I like this idea I found on the Fluent Self, a blog by Havi Brooks.

The Fluent Self is about destuckification. I’m often stuck so I find this particularly helpful! There is a great exercise about creating a Book of Me, but I’m not going to go into all of that now. A quick thing – A Book of Me might sound arrogant but as Havi writes:

"Something I try to remember: part of destuckifying is having a conscious relationship with yourself, so you can bring more awareness to your patterns (detective-style).

And no, you’re not arrogant or self-absorbed if you make a commitment to learning stuff about yourself and taking notes."

Actually I think learning to manage yourself so that you don’t inflict all your stuckness and frustrations on those around you, at work and at home, is the opposite of arrogant! It’s generous and kind and loving. Being self-aware makes us less selfish.

As I grow in awareness I have such valuable insights into my own behaviour and then BAM I get stuck again. I call it living my life in zigzags. I go one way and then I forget all I’ve learnt and zig off in the other direction and then finally zag back again. Sometimes I have to re-learn the same lessons a million times over! Ok, maybe not a million. But some of these lessons are very painful and I wish I could remember them the first time.

Havi’s got one solution to this: let the aware-self leaves notes for the unaware self. I like it! So I’m giving it a go.

NOTE TO AMANDA AFTER A BAD RUN:

Did you have a bad run or ride and hate exercise and wonder why you never get any fitter and want to lie at the side of the trail and nap instead?

This is probably hormonal. It’s ok. When you feel like this you should try remember to take it easy and just enjoy the scenery. It’s just a day. Relax. It will pass. And soon you will have exercise again and laugh and have a good time.

NOTE TO AMANDA IF IT’S GETTING LATE:

I know you like to create at night. You like to write at night and read stuff. But think about tomorrow and what time you have to get up and then decide if it’s a good idea to stay up. It’s OK to leave things unfinished. You can do it, pack up and off to bed, there you go. I mean it, NOW! GO TO BED BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND YOU’LL BE TIRED AND HAVE AN AWFUL DAY TOMORROW IF YOU DON’T!

NOTE TO AMANDA ON THURSDAYS:

It’s time to plan your weekend! Make sure you haven’t said yes to too many things so you’re a frazzled mess by Sunday! It’s OK to say no. Choose which things will fill you up. Make time for exercise because remember it doesn’t magically happen, you have to set aside the time and commit. Remember to talk to Nic so you can discuss if anything’s changed and discuss each of our expectations for the weekend so we don’t end up arguing about it. Remember you like to use weekends to do extra work, to completely chill out and sleep a lot, to ride bikes and run in the forest, to see friends, to tidy up the house and organise stuff, to do some life admin and visit people like your grandfather – and YOU CAN’T DO IT ALL IN ONE WEEKEND! Pick and choose, that will mean saying no and disappointing some people and that’s OK.

Wow, I’m a veritable font of wisdom on “how to manage Amanda” if only I allow myself the time and space for my higher self to shine through!

Go read about how Havi does this process here on The Fluent Self. Have fun.