Why Comment?

I was reading a blog I really like a few moments ago and on one of the posts a person called Beatrice had commented "I can't stand the way you rant on...". And I wonder why Beatrice continues to read the blog? Surely if you come across a blog you don't like, where you think the author is always ranting on, you stop reading it? From the way the comment is written, it sounds like the reader is familiar with the blog and keeps reading it.

The interesting thing is that it sparked a debate amongst the readers regarding Beatrice's comment and one of them even wrote "If I had a name like Beatrice I'd be pissed off too!" which is kind of funny, but doesn't really move the debate forward. Some of the readers jump to the defence of the blogger and then one reader asks why the other readers always defend her, it annoys him and he also says Beatrice's comment is unproductive. And then this same guy makes a comment:

"I have also sensed someone who has a somewhat ‘teaching/lecturing’ style in this blog. I felt frustrated and annoyed, maybe why I left the blog for a time. Then I realised I did the same thing……….my ego loved to lecture/impart my wisdom on whomever I could because of the journey I had chosen. The point is, it was something in me. Thanks for helping me explore that."

I found his comment rather annoying! Because he couches his comment in such a way that it appears it's about his own learning but actually he's having quite a dig at the blogger for her "lecturing style" which is "unproductive". So he's doing exactly what Beatrice did, in a sneakier way.

One positive comment that moved me was this: "It sounds ridiculous, but when I read your posts, I feel like I’ve been given a voice." For me that is very powerful. I like blogs that make me feel I've been given a voice, or that the things I want to voice are OK. A friend said to me this weekend "oh I don't have time to read blogs" which irked me. You can't lump "blogs" in some category like "books". Imagine saying "oh books are silly and a waste of time". Sure there are millions of ridiculous blogs out there, and demeaning ones and hateful ones and stupid ones, but that's just a fact of life. We're smart enough to sift through and find the blogs that make us better people, more compassionate, more courageous, more informed people, who are able to make a difference in the lives of those around them.

I'm pondering this notion we have, which I started this post by being clear on, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Now I'm not so sure. Healthy debate is a good thing. It's what democracies thrive on, it's what South Africa so sorely lacks. Differences of opinion are a vital part of being human and becoming conscious and realising we have the right to disagree with others. My gripe has always been, for heaven's sake inform yourself enough so that you understand the issues BEFORE you state your opinion. I struggled with this so much when teaching students who are so quick to have an opinion, without understanding any of the issues. I asked a class whether they thought the death penalty was a good or bad idea and they were quick to venture an opinion, then I told them to go read S v Petersen, the Constitutional Court judgment that deals at length with all the arguments. Only after reading this, understanding the "deterrent argument" the "costs" argument, the "God" argument, can one venture an informed opinion. All I asked was that they actually engage, on a deeper level, with the pros and cons.

But I guess there's a balance. It would be awful if no one ventured an opinion because "they didn't know enough". Sometimes we feel strongly about things without understanding them and I guess that's OK. I know I'm contradicting myself here. Somewhere we have to find a balance between taking a stand, perhaps before we know all the facts (if you see a man hit a woman on a sidewalk, I think you jump in, even if you don't have all the facts, but that's me) and becoming informed. I will admit that I am quick to have an opinion on many issues that I know nothing about! But I'm also quick to read more, learn more and change my opinion at a later stage.

To me it is fundamentally important that we are willing to change our stance when the information we have learned improves our ability to think through the issue. There is, in my opinion, nothing worse than a closed mind. Like a person who once said to me "I'm afraid to read that book because it might make me change my mind". Now that, is truly scary.

You can read the post I'm talking about, and all the comments, here.